We have had appearances on all kinds of challenging talk shows. We’ve been a couple times with Sally Jessie Raphael, the little blonde gal with the red glasses, who seemed so nice before the program. I remember her opening up the show and looks into the camera lens and saying, “My guest today is not the product of love she is the product of rape.” How does that make you feel? It made me feel like punching her out. My daughter Julie said , “Well, yes, I’m the product of rape, but how many of us know that we are the product of love even if our parents were married. Because I believe God wanted me to be born, in a way I am the product of love.”
As we faced brother Heraldo I can remember my daughter saying to him, “Yes, I’m the result of rape, but I’m so glad that I didn’t get the death penalty for my father’s crime.” “Children who are born even of sexual assault,” she said, ” do not inherit any evil genes. Look at me. I’m not some warped person. It doesn’t matter how you begin, but what you become in life.” As we recently faced Phil Donahue, one of my favorite people, what a thrill it was to share with him.
My daughter Julie lives in Florida and I hardly ever see that girl enough and my grandkids. The best thing that I could do would be to introduce her to you tonight, and she just happens to be here, so would you please welcome Julie Macama , our missing piece.
Julie: I found out at the age of 7 that I was adopted. It was not the best of situations. It was by a girlfriend that I learned the news. We were arguing and we were always fighting even though we were the best of friends growing up from just a few months old. During the argument, she thought that this was a good way to get back at me because I hit her pretty hard. She told me, “Well you know, you don’t live with your real mother. You were adopted. She’s not your real mom and that’s not your real dad.” I didn’t understand what it all meant. I knew by the way she had told me that it really something terribly bad and that I am an unusual strange person because of it. It was something that nobody would ever want to be. I was mad and angry and in tears. I ran home and asked my mother, “Where’s my mom? Where’s my real mom? Who are you?”
My mother was very shocked. She brought me over to a chair and sat me down and she said, “That’s true, I’m not the mom that gave birth to you. Your dad and I love you just as much as your two brothers. There’s no difference in our heart for you than there is for them. We love you just as much. I couldn’t have any children and I wanted a little girl. Your dad and I came down to the adoption agency and picked you out. You are very special to us.” She said also, ” It was out of love and wanting the best for you that your birth mother released you for adoption. It wasn’t that she threw you away or that she didn’t want you or care about you. No, but she also loved you and wanted the best for you.”
I realized how important that was as I grew up because I felt doubly loved growing up. I knew I was different than my brothers. They were 8 and 10 years older than I and I kind of thought that was good. I didn’t want to be like them anyway. They were weird. Any of you who have brothers, you know what I’m talking about. Whenever the subject of my adoption came up they would mention that, of course, Julie was the baby in the basket by the door. We tripped over you one day as we were leaving or I was in the alley in the garbage and we took tomatoes off your face. They were wonderful brothers. I never felt any different and grateful that my parents also said, “Yes, we want you to love us but also we want you to be able to love your birth parents and not hate them for allowing them to release you to us.”
I did grow up in a Christian home. My parents were always bringing us to church and for a long time I really thought, here we go again. You got to get dressed up and go through this whole thing. I learned so much and, at a young age, accepted Christ as my Savior. I remember walking down the aisle and I new that it was a very important to say, “Yes, God, I want to give my life to you and do what you want me to do. It’s yours, please have it”. I’m grateful that I learned at a young age the real important things in life and that my parents showed me the Love of God.
I learned about the circumstances you heard from my husband, who couldn’t get away from telling me what Lee’s husband had said on the phone. There’s no way he could get away from leaving the room even . I was sitting in the living room and knew right away as I had picked up the phone and answered it and they asked to speak to my husband. I knew something was terribly wrong. I didn’t have the luxury of an extension. I had to make it up here. I really did not imagine what the news was. My husband and I talked that evening very late into the night. We had always been one to believe that the unborn deserve a right to life, but what about situations of rape and incest. It really hit home to us. We had to say, “Wait a minute, is it true that God is the one who decides about life. If it is, how could we allow abortion? How could I , of all people, ever suggest or say that that was an all right thing?” I did struggle. All the questions life, why did my birth father do this? I was very angry at him. I wanted him to pay for what he had done. I certainly had questions about myself. Am I a bad person? Many people say that children conceived in assault inherit evil genes. That they are going to have psychological problems. They can never be born physically well. They’re going to have all kinds of physical problems. I said, “Did I really inherit something? Is there something bad in me because of what happened?”
For days I went through this big thing. Many people in my church knew that I had searched and found my birth mother and they all wanted to know what happened and why and all of this. I realized as I began to tell them that my father assaulted my birth mother, they would all go, ” How terrible, How bad for you!” I know that they did not want to make me feel bad but there was those negative feelings of the assault that all of us have, and we should feel that way ,but we really do connect those with the child. I asked myself, “Do I really feel bad? Is there something wrong with me?”
I’m grateful for my upbringing because I went back to the things I learned as a child. We are all here because of God’s purpose and God’s plan alone for our lives. I could have never in my wildest dreams, you know, I had this idea that I would find my birth mother and I’d kind of help her out and lead her to Christ. I’d tell her,” I’ve got this deal for you.” I told God, “You help me find her and I’ll help you on the other part.” How small. Never realizing He had a plan long ago and it was to bring glory to His name and to prove His faithfulness in every situation. You may feel that your life is worthless and it’s not worth anything and that nobody loves you. Let me tell you the greatest person in the world loves you and called you for a purpose. I pray that you find Him and find His purpose for your life.
Lee: To me, my daughter Julie is living proof that God is faithful. He does not forget. He hasn’t lost any of our addresses in spite of how many times we’ve moved around. He’s been able to keep that which we commit to Him and to make something beautiful out of something that is not. I have a very naive friend in the South that always said, “Well, everything works out for the best doesn’t it? I said,” No, it doesn’t because aids is not good, and drunk drivers, and cancer, and many things that happen in the life of a person, that are not good. But that’s why the Bible says that God is able to make all things work together for good once they are placed into His hands. I am so grateful for that. I do not believe that the God of the Bible is the God who has caused the evil in your life. I don’t believe that God meant to wound you, but the hands that reach out to you from God are wounded, scarred hands. Hands of a man who cried Himself , “My God, why have you forsaken me?” A God who has some missing pieces was expressed in the life of Jesus Christ. Everything didn’t really go wonderfully for Him.
I believe for anyone of us there is nothing that has happened to you in your life that automatically puts you totally out of commission for God’s plan. I believe that He is able to make all those things, any accident or mistake, whatever has happened in our lives, there is a method to the madness. There is a purpose in the pain that we have experienced in our lives. Even though God didn’t cause that, He plans to use that experience in your life to bring you to God in a very special way. I believe that each of us need the touch of the master carpenter in our lives in order to make something beautiful out of whatever has happened to us in our lives. I don’t think of God as a nebulous force, or a God conscienceness, or some kind of a floating old man with a long beard up there. I don’t see that in the scriptures. If the Bible is true, God is a father. That is the way He has expressed Himself to us.
In a moment I’m going to pray a prayer much like the prayer I prayed many years ago that placed in me that wonderful presence of God in order to make it through the difficulties in life. I would invite you to join me in that. It’s perhaps for you your missing piece in life, this life of Christ from within. Once the presence of God is inside of you and not outside somewhere, you’ll feel a lot more like the missing pieces of your life are getting filled up. Even though you don’t have all the answers, you can still feel like a whole person, in spite of it all. It might be time to submit your resignation as manager of your life so that God can implant within you a new resident manager that is able to manage and remanage and maybe even recycle the garbage in your life to make sense out of it. If you do not have this life of Jesus in you I pray that you will open your heart and your life to Him. As I pray out loud maybe you’d like to pray silently.
Our Father and our God, we do want to say thank you for sacrificing your own Son. Giving us His life so that we might receive His life within us. Thank you that He paid the price for all of that in His death on the cross. We admit our sin, Lord God, and we ask for forgiveness. We would ask that Christ would come in and live inside of us. Thank you for that eternal life that begins at the moment of inception even now inside of us. God, for all of us who have the life of Jesus inside of us may we be able to, even in spite of our missing pieces, unanswered questions, and the gaping holes in our life that just won’t go away, God and Father, we want to say thank you for what you have given us. Thank you for what you have taken from us, thank you what you have left us with . It is enough,, the God of missing pieces, to fill up the holes in our lives. We give you those things so that you might make all of those things work together for good for those of us who love the Lord. We pray with hope and thanksgiving for that wonderful good news. In the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Folks, I do pray if you have received Christ that you’ll begin to share it with somebody to let out the news so that you might be able to grow in that faith and that you might have the blessing of knowing in your life, for sure, that even the pitfalls of your past can become fertilizer for your future when you place your life in the hands of the God of missing pieces. God bless you and thank you so much